I'm not a Hokie.

Normally, I can't stand the Hokies. I can't stand the way they dominate the sports pages despite being five hours away, while my beloved 'Heels (closer by a solid hour) have to fight for page space with three-legged hamster races. I can't stand the Hokies in the same manner I can't stand the Cowboys and the Yankees. These are the teams people say they are "their" teams when, in fact, they have no team. I can't stand the Hokies from August until November, and now, most importantly, from November until March.

Last Monday changed that for me. Some of it anyway. When I heard of the days events, to say I was shocked would be an understatement. I stopped working to call my sister in PA, a stay-at-home mom, to get the latest. Thirty-two dead. Another eighteen wounded. That was me once. Different school, but still the same. Who the hell expects 9mm rounds to be flying at nine o'clock on a Monday morning? Intially, I had heard that Cho had lined them up in a lab and shot them one by one, execution-style. I felt only marginally better to find out this was false.

My wife is a Hokie ('98). She's taking this hard. I can't imagine having all my college memories coated by all this. She called me at lunch the rest of the week in order to give me updates. We had continuous coverage at home until our oldest had nightmares. Thankfully, none of the casualties were folks she knew or she'd have been a right mess. She did ask me to go with her to the Memorial Service at Mt. Trashmore Friday night, and being the supportive husband I am, I agreed. I had a maroon t-shirt under my work shirt that day, but she thought I needed more. She ran to the closet, and returned with a Hokiebird hat which she nestled upon my thinning locks. My Carolina Blue blood rankled at the headgear, but no, I said, for tonight, to remember those killed and to support my wife, I'd wear the hat, and like it. We stood with some folks my wife knew and listened to the half-dozen or so speakers, and as the names of the deceased were read before a moment of silence. Afterwards,when the bagpipe started in with Amazing Grace, you could here people losing it all around you, my wife and her friends included. And there, in that crowd, with those people, I was a Hokie, too.